What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
