Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
