I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
