Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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