My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize