Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
