Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
