the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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