so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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