I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
