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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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