you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
