it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
