i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
