I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
