did you get engaged???
Nicole vs. Life
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
