If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
