Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize