Non-Jews are for practice
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
