you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
