you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
