Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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