margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im holly from the hills drunk
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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