all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
