soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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