I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
