white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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