check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
