I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
