I need help removing her.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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