Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
