spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i now understand why vodka
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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