The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
