how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
