I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
