but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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