do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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