You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Farmville is her only friend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
