Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
