I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
