brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There r osticjed everywhere
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
