OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
