Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
