how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
