I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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