We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
