Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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