explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
