Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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