if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
