when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
