Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just high enough for therapy.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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