Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
