I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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