A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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