Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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