i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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