who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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