he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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