I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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