handjob tips. give me some.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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