I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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