he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
